Hundreds of Festival Deaths Attributed to BPA Water Bottles

Thousands of attendees at the Wheaton Jazzy Ribs Festival in suburban Chicago over the Labor Day weekend failed to heed the warnings of BPAtruths.net and attempted to rehydrate by drinking water possibly laced with the potentially toxic chemical Bisphenol A. The plastic additive used in some plastics can leak into water and cause serious health effects. By the evening, the field facing the Wheaton Concert Shell was littered with hundreds of bodies as The Niles Davis Quartet played through the twentieth minute of a Miles Davis semi-improv jazz medley.

"I tried to warn them," screamed a middle-aged woman in Yoga pants on her vlog. "I said, 'buy the glass bottles, you don't know what you're getting from plastic.' They didn't listen. They looked at the plastic number on the bottom of the bottles, like that will tell you anything, and then they just started drinking. And dying."

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