onsdag, mars 02, 2011

49 Ways to Kill a Dalek

It's a familiar scenario: you're walking through a field or house or area of some sort and are attacked by a Dalek. "How do I stop this evil menace?" you think to yourself and anyone else who might be reading your thoughts. Fear not, here are 49 can't-miss Dalek-killing strategies.

1. Lure it into a field of watches with a rock in the middle, causing it to form a reverse-watchmaker analogy against the existence of God that will depress it to the point of suicide.

2. Tell it that you'll let it take over the world if it gives you a penny. It will think you're joking at first, but be persistent. Keep repeating the offer, being more emphatic each time. Finally it will do whatever Daleks do that's the equivalent of shrugging and give you a penny. Immediately point at it and start laughing. It will self-destruct out of embarrassment.

3. Flush it down a giant toilet.

4. Ask it if it's heard of culture jamming. Take a Culture Club CD and jam it in its eye. Now it has.

5. Dress up as a 1950s housewife and throw dishes at it until it dies.