Pointless Things You Can Do to Help

Day 48 or 50 or something. Jurassic death still spewing into the Gulf of Mexico. Entire oil industry still evil. Government still worthless. Dolphins coated in oil. Pelicans barfing tarballs. Horrible Skeksis seagull trying to lift head out of black tide running 24/7 on news and ruining every meal I eat in front of the TV. And I eat every meal in front of the TV.

I feel powerless to help. They're trying everything down there, even the ideas some exasperated engineer mentioned as a joke at a meeting, but no one laughed and they thought it was a good idea, and then the original guy was too afraid to say he was only joking. That engineer stood idly by while BP dumped millions of gallons of dish soap in the ocean, lit the oil spill on fire, and shot piles of different pollution at the pollution to try to jam the flow.

Since nobody seems to be coming up with any ideas that actually help, I think it's time we do the next best thing and offer some ideas that don't help at all, but make us feel like we're helping. At least here in America this is a time-honored tradition during natural and man-made disasters.

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