On the Dangers of Telepathic Parrots

I have long enjoyed a friendly relationship with birds. Save for a few skirmishes with ducks and geese, I have never had a problem with birds in my life. And really, do ducks and geese count as birds? I have always considered them more of an amusement, since they are delightfully fun to incite. Running from bulls may be a manly daredevil sport known throughout the world, but running from a hoard of enraged geese is a much more accessible activity you can swing just about any time of the year.

It seems as though a strange and dramatic shift has occurred in the last few years. Parrots, long a favorite of Portuguese sailors and crazy ladies alike, have developed terrifying telepathic powers. The vanguard of this new race of telepathic parrots is an African Grey by the name of N'kisi, a genius bird with a vocabulary comparable to my own.

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