tirsdag, november 28, 2006

The Dave Thorpe Ministry

Join in prayer, my brothers and sisters in God, as we heap praise upon His glorious name! Can you feel the spirit? Let the spirit in! Let the spirit move you, lest ye be moved by the weeping claw of Satan! Oh, my partners in God, these are dangerous times, times of trial and malfeasance, times when the true word has never been truer and the lies of them who would have you walk with Satan have never been more false. The Gospel is your raft upon a black river of bile, brothers and sisters, and I am proud to say that this ministry is the oar that propels that raft and the rudder that steers it.

But, as always, the Dave Thorpe Ministry is under a threat most foul. Bombarded from all sides by the treachery of those who would put Satan on the throne, we have once again lost our tax-exempt status and must thus make ourselves spiritually culpable in abominable acts. For every thousand dollars you tithe to our Ministry of Light and Hope, the government sees fit to steal three hundred dollars to fund abortions and activist judges. At this very moment, the dollars of a saved man or woman are being spent by the liberals to grind the spinal cords of babies into a fine powder in the MORTAR and the PESTLE of SATAN, so that the CHRIST-HATERS who dare to invoke the name of SCIENCE for their rites of death can fool the nation into believing that they can make a paralyzed man walk again!

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