onsdag, mai 18, 2011

My Rapture Plan

According to some billboards and a couple VERY EXCITED GENTLEMEN who like buying up billboard space, we're just a few days away from the Rapture, the big fancy factory recall of good souls. From what I've sussed out, in terms of raw importance the Rapture is like the series finale of the Super Bowl times ten. Jesus parachutes down from Heaven commando-style, then evacuates the just and righteous back to Heaven. Everyone left behind then has a few years to devour and murder each other so that God will have proven some kind of point about something or other.

Granted, everything I know about the Rapture I learned from a Kirk Cameron movie where he played a character named Buck Williams and teamed up with an airline pilot named Rayford Steele, so I'm not the biggest expert on the subject. I do know that if the Rapture goes down, then everything we know about everything changes forever.