onsdag, september 15, 2010

The Letters of Dracula

Dearest Emmy Judges,

I have weathered what seems like a thousand seasons of mediocre TV and I will weather a thousand more. In all those toilsome years I have glimpsed true art but once. That you should forsake "Two and a Half Men" and leave its cast bereft of award statuette sickens me to my blackened core. Who else but the unassailable Charlie Sheen could portray such a nuanced and whimsical character? And yet he receives no nomination? This betrayal is most egregious, and I shall not hesitate to subject any and all of you to my unnatural thirst. Your children, too, shall come to know my taste for blood.

I have started a Facebook fan page in protest. Already my friend and associate, the Mummy, has "liked" it. That is two powerful enemies you have made in record time.

Be warned!