How to Improve Your Worldwide Conspiracy: Chapter 1

A great nebula of pop-culture debris. A white dwarf dense with years of compulsive collecting arranged in a compact sphere around its hunched over, living core. A bedroom devoted more to the needs of its plastic occupants than the comfort of its one human.

Bert Reilly was bent into his computer, gripping it like a jockey grips the reins. He sat fenced in by shelves populated by every action figure he had ever laid eye on, by video games, fantasy novels, trade paperback collections. Everything he used to measure his life and give it value.

Within the year, Bert would be president of the United States of America.

He did not suspect this yet. No one did. Very few people even knew his name.

Yet here Bert Reilly was, bent into his computer. He had just watched a YouTube, rated it a five, and Dugg it. Somewhere, far away from what we might accurately call his nest, wheels he couldn't possibly imagine were starting to turn, gears he would never be able to understand were locking together, a global conspiracy was pulling him closer and closer to...

...his destiny.

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