mandag, februar 18, 2008

Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of an Imperial Waste & Sanitation Worker

Hey, I'm crewman second class Borf Rebus, Imperial Waste and Sanitation, at your service.

There is this saying among naval officers that goes something like, "You don't go looking in the head for a lost wristwatch unless you want shit on your sleeve." I guess it's no surprise I'm still a crewman second class. The Navy thinks it can't find petty officer material in Imperial Waste and Sanitation.

They should stop down here some time and hang out with their bros in IWS. I'm around petty officer material constantly. Those guys produce thousands of cubic feet of material every day.

Well, okay, no promotions and no raises. Shit rolls downhill, as they also love to say, it doesn't climb out of the pipe and become an officer. Except for that one time in the Kuat system, but I had nothing to do with that. It says so right in the review hearing results in my file. Plus that actually started as an officer and then turned into this goop that - well, that's a story for another time.

So, like, whew - getting off track here - what do we do in IWS is the question here, right? Like on a daily basis type thing?

Okay, well, I work on the Death Star. I used to work on a Star Destroyer called Hateburp or some other hard ass name that started with an "H". But, like, you get used to that homey sort of friendly feel of working on a Star Destroyer. You know, everybody knows everybody. Everybody says, "Hi, how you doing, man?" in the hallways. Then you come to the Death Star, I mean first of all the word "death" is in the name, so you know there is gonna be a change in the atmosphere.