onsdag, januar 30, 2008

On Etiquette and Good Behavior

A gentleman may not accompany a lady unless he has been properly introduced. Whenever possible, a third party should handle these introduction ceremonies. If a mutual friend does not exist, a reputable robot may be commissioned to oversee and chaperone a gentleman and a lady on their first encounter. A gentleman does not hire a disreputable robot to introduce him to a lady, nor does a gentleman hire a disreputable robot to accost a lady, so that he may suddenly appear in the guise of a hero and ward off the miscreant machine to win her favor. No, a gentleman honors the laws and conventions of society and uses only appropriate channels when befriending a new lady.

When clad in a jetpack, a gentleman must refrain from showering a lady with exhaust or burning any part of her person or attire. A man who leaves a lady coughing in a cloud of black smoke is no more a gentleman than the common rogue or sky pirate. And indeed, a gentleman never wears his jetpack indoors. To do as much is to admit ignorance of or contempt for basic etiquette.

Should a man be required to carry a lady through the sky, such as to overcome a canyon or escape pirates or ornery robots, he must hold her in a respectable fashion. Never should a man attempt to carry a lady through the sky unnecessarily, or use an imaginary threat as grounds to carry her through the sky. Only a charlatan would place a lady in a situation where she must choose between the indignity of unscrupulous hands or falling to her death.

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