Andy Rooney 2666

You know what really gets my goat? Bananas. Used to be you could go down to the corner grocer and pick up a bunch of nice, ripe bananas. Now, whenver I buy bananas, I get a bunch of green things that turn brown before I can eat them. And what happened to banana stickers? After I turned 140, whenever I would eat a banana I would place the sticker on my forehead and scream, “I am the banana king!” And let me tell you, my dog would have quite a hoot over it. Today, I’m not the banana king, and if dogs still existed, the one I had would be very upset. A bunch of sad, brown, phantom dog-depressing fruit for 2400 megacredits? Give me a megabreak!

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